Funny Parenting Quotes you Should Read

Being parent is not easy task. Especially if you have kids more than one. There are number of hilarious funny quotes about parenthood which I couldn’t stop myself laughing after reading them.

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.     

Phyllis Diller

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Erma Bombeck

Children are a great comfort in your old age- and they help you reach it faster too.

Lionel Kauffman

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

David Frost

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.

Erma Bombeck

I used to believe my father about everything but then I had children myself & now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy.

Brian Andreas

Parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Bill Cosby

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Erma Bombeck

Do your kids a favor-don’t have any.     

Robert Orben

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower, or vacuum cleaner.

Ben Bergor

To be a successful father there is one absolute rule: when you have a kid don’t look at it for the first two years.

Ernest Hemingway

24/7 – Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer.

Jodi Picoult

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Erma Bombeck

What is a home without children. Quiet.

Henny Youngman

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, keep away from children.

Susan Savannah

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; Now I have six children and no theories.

John Wilmot

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

P.J. O’Rourke

Men should always change diapers. It’s mentally cleansing. It’s like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.

Chris Martin

Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.     

Peter Ustinov

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.     

Doug Larson

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

Ed Asner

Children aren’t happy without something to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for.     

Ogden Nash


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